
Euphemisms provide another source of lively language. While it's rather ugly and mean-spirited to come right out and say someone is "dumb," we show less hesitation to say that said person is "not the sharpest knife in the drawer" or "not the brightest bulb in the lamp."
Today, I offer you a whole host of colorful words and expressions from across the pond! Sykes Cottages, based in the UK, provided me the brilliant infographic, below, and if you keep scrolling, below the graphic, you'll find a wonderful list of weird Britishisms sent to me by two very humorous British friends who read Anglophiles United, John and Janet.
Enjoy!
JOHN & JANET'S LIST OF "WEIRD BRITISH EXPRESSIONS"
Don't you come it with me! (Do not try to fool or deceive me.)
She cops the needle quicker than anyone. (She is easily offended.)
To take the hump (or) To take the camel (To take offense.)
She's been on the game. (She’s been a prostitute before now, you can be sure of that.)
He looks like he lost a pound and found a penny! (He looks sick with disappointment.)
He's as bent as a nine-bob note! (He’s dishonest and/or corrupt.)
She’s away with the fairies today! (She’s not concentrating or seems distracted.)
I've seen more “go” in a live yoghurt. (The person is lazy or ineffectual.)
He has a face like a burst football. (He is not very good-looking.)
Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs! (Hot damn!)
Ne'er cast a clout 'til May be out. [Pertains to gardening.] (Beware of early season frosts.)
Gordon Bennett!! (Expression of frustration, anger, consternation, irritation.)
I could eat these 'til the cows came home! (I always enjoy eating these.)
He's a dodgy so-and-so. (He is a thief, corrupt, a chiseler for sure.)
If she sucked a lemon, IT might pull a face! (She’s not a natural beauty.)
He’s as thick as two short planks! (He lacks intelligence, is incompetent.)
It’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey today! (Today’s very cold.)
Chance'd be a fine thing! (Of something unobtainable, like dating a famous film star.)
Sorted! There ya go! (Spoken when something is resolved successfully and happily.)
Watch the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves. (Don't waste your money.)
He's just a fart in a thunderstorm. (He’s ineffectual, useless, cannot take control.)
That bird was giving you the glad eye. (That chick was checking you out.)
I been on the dog fer 'alf a bleedin' hour! [Cockney] (I’ve just endured a long phone call.)
He's got more front than Brighton Pier! (He’s very presumptuous, has a lot of gall.)
The Borgias would have done better! (She lacks culinary skill, is not a good cook.)
Up in nanny's room behind the clock! (Said to inquisitive children who want to know where the Christmas presents are being kept. / A way of saying, “I'm not telling you!”)
Honest?! Honest my aunt Ada! [He/she wouldn't know the truth if it come up behind him/her in the High st and kicked him/her up the arse!] (He/she is crooked, you can be sure of that!)
Pissed as a fart (Very drunk)
The windypops (A burping fit)
The screaming abdabs (Used usually to describe the feeling of being driven mad by boisterous children. E.g., You lot are giving me THE SCREAMING ABDABS!!)
You’re doin' my ‘ead in! [Cockney] (You’re driving me to distraction!)
He’s gonna do his conkers! [Cockney] (He's gonna be awfully mad!)
I can't get me ‘ead around this! [Cockney] (I don’t understand this!)
‘E's really got the proper wind up! [Cockney] (He’s really scared!)
A plonker [Cockney] (An embarrassing jerk)
To get nicked by the "Old Bill" [Cockney] (To get pulled over by the police and charged with a driving offense.)
Leave it out! (or) What do you sound like! [Cockney] (Get outta here!)
I don't give a monkey's if ‘e comes ‘round ‘ere. [Cockney] (I don’t care if he shows up.)